Silicon Valley Etiquette
Romain Serman
Director of Bpifrance USA
“During the 17th
century, in France, manners became a political issue. King Louis XIV and his
predecessors, in collecting together the nobility of France to live with the
sovereign at Versailles, instituted a sort of school of manners.
At the palace, the
courtiers lived under the despotic surveillance of the King. If you displeased
a Louis, he would simply “not see you” the following day. And not being “seen”
by the King was tantamount to ceasing to count, at Versailles.
The new
manners — both the formal rules of protocol and precedence and the unspoken,
more profoundly enculturated rules like table manners — were seen increasingly
as ways in which one did not offend other people. You were controlling
yourself, so as to prevent other people from being disgusted or shocked.”
—
Margaret Visser
OK. Versailles Etiquette seems pretty
awful. “Those wanting to speak to the King were not to knock on his door.
Instead, using the left little finger, they had to gently scratch on the door
until they were granted the permission to enter the room. Many courtiers grew
that fingernail longer than the others for that purpose.” Or: “Only
ushers were allowed to open doors. If you desired to leave the room, you had to
wait for the usher to open the door.”
Pure. Nightmare. Not
nice-hoodie-”what’s-up-dude” stuff. Now, replace “Louis” by “VC”
or “Big Potential Enterprise Customer” or “Mentor” or “Talent”.
You get this: “If you displeased a VC/Customer/Mentor/Talent, she would
simply not see you the following day.” Agree?
I’ve been living and
working in Silicon Valley for almost 7 years now. And I, as a Frenchman, made
tons of mistakes. I even dressed up for my very first meeting
at Google, Mountain View, Ca. Really. I wore a tie. Nobody can beat that. It
took the Googlers a full minute to realize that I was not a limo driver (if you
want to avoid this kind of issue, click here).
I learned there is
an Etiquette in Silicon Valley. Actually, there is an Etiquette when
you do business. Anywhere. Period.
The Valley has its
own culture. I see lots of foreign founders arriving in San Francisco. They
assume that because people look just like them, things will work the same way
as they do at home.
BIG. MISTAKE. Just as
with any other region, there are some need-to-know basics in Silicon Valley.
Etiquette has a purpose: to grease the wheels of society, and ensure things get
done without too many feathers getting ruffled.
In Silicon Valley,
some principles do matter: Efficiency, Respect, and Communication. California
is for sure the “Land of The Cool”. But don’t get it wrong. Things are
codified.
So here are the main
underlying rules I learned — painfully — . I know it sounds trivial. Follow
them and you’ll be just fine. “The King will see you the following day”.
Do otherwise and you “will cease to count at Silicon-Versailles”.
Rule #1: Be
On Time
Being on time is a “signalling” issue. We live in an environment
with imperfect information. People don’t know much about you, if anything at
all. To mitigate this issue, they will use any signals to hint something about
you. And people are hungry for signals. Late? In one fell swoop, you are
sending 3 messages:
·
You are not organized. Would you do business with messy people? And don’t pretend the trafic
was awful on the 101. Of course it was. Use Waze.
·
You don’t respect me. “Sorry, my previous meeting was longer than expected”. Which actually means:
“you probably have a meeting right after me, but I don’t care about your schedule”.
Not. Appreciated.
·
I can’t trust you. When we scheduled the appointment, we had a deal. You just
broke it.
Pretty bad, right?
You are on time or
you are out of business. If you are going to be late for whatever reason — yes, it happens — ,
send a message at least 20 minutes before and say:
·
If 1–10 mn late: “I will be X mn late, hope it’s fine. All my apologies”;
·
If > 10 mn late: “All my apologies, I really can’t make it on time. I will be at least
10 mn late. Should we reschedule our meeting?”.
Being on time is so
important that such a prominent VC firm as Andreessen Horowitz charges its staff $10 per minute if
they’re late for a meeting with entrepreneurs (watch this, please). It’s a question of respect,
first and foremost.
Oh, by the way, being
“on time” means being 3–4 minutes in advance.
Rule #2: Same
Day Email
You have few hours to
answer the emails you receive. Same day is the norm. Next day is acceptable.
Anything beyond 24 hours could be a problem. “Signalling”
again. A same day answer signals:
·
You are on top of things;
·
You are fast. And that’s good;
·
What
the senders had to say matters to you. You gave them a feeling of
importance. Powerful.
I often fail at
obeying this rule. It is tough. But it matters. A lot.
Rule #3: The
Double Opt-In Intro
You can’t do anything
without valuable connections and solid network. It’s true for everybody. It’s
even essential for foreign founders who, by definition, know few — if
any — people. Introductions are to entrepreneurs what gasoline is to cars:
required to move forward.
Introductions are one
of the most codified areas of Valley etiquette. Here are the key
principles:
·
An
introduction should be a win-win for all parties, the
“introducer” (the nodes of a social network have value) as well as the
“introduced parties” (successful people can only afford to exchange some of
their limited time for value).
·
You cannot
compel someone to make an introduction, or to be introduced to
someone else. It is counter-productive (you may bring pain instead
of value).
This is how it works.
There are 2 scenarii.
·
John wants to introduce Paul to Helena. First, John asks Paul if he agrees to being
introduced to Helena. Then, John asks Helena if she is OK to be introduced to
Paul. If both agree, John makes the introduction.
·
Paul wants to be introduced to Helena. Paul asks John if he is OK to make
the introduction. He briefly explains the context, the purpose and why Helena
could be interested in the connection. Even better: he provides him with a
draft email to be used for the introduction (see Rule #4 below). If he is OK,
John asks Helena if she agrees to be introduced to Paul.
Sounds trivial,
right? Well, many people don’t play by this rule.
Rule #4: The
3-Bullet Email
People have very
limited time. Time
is valuable. CEOs. VCs. C-Level Execs. Everyone. Therefore, a poorly designed
email is like throwing a message in a bottle. Pray it won’t end up on an empty
shore.
Your communication
must be succinct (3 points, 5 lines max), crystal-clear (no PhD in philosophy
required to understand you), and precise (data, data, data ; see Rule #8
below).
Michael Seibel, CEO at YCombinator, wrote a great
post on “How to Email
Early Stage Investors”.
He said it all. What’s true for early stage investors is true for everyone else
(a mentor, a customer, a talent to hire, a journalist at Techcrunch, a guy who
could make an introduction for you). A 3-bullet email should look like
this:
·
What do you do?
(2 lines)
·
Why is it exciting? (2 lines)
·
What do you want? (1 line)
That’s it! By the
way, did you know that VCs read the
average pitch deck in 3"44'? You can bet they won’t take more than 30" to read an email…
Rule #5:
Good Karma
Good Karma, to me, is
the essence of Silicon Valley’s culture. It means that if you do something
good, something good will happen to you. It’s the foundation of the Pay-It-Forward attitude.
It translates into this question that everyone you see for the first time will
ask: “How Can I Help You?”.
Be full of Good
Karma. Full of Gratitude. Thank people. Someone made an introduction
that helped you move forward? Thank them. Send them an email to follow-up and
keep them informed on what happened. It didn’t really help? Come on! Thank them
anyways! Somebody helped you ? Help them as well, or at least, try. Give
back to people. As much as you can. The magic is awesome.
Well, and that’s the
rule.
Rule #6: The 15-mn
Call or the 30 | 60 mn-Meeting
Now we are diving
deep into Protocol. I don’t remember who said it but I personally
love the quote: “People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of
anything.” There are 2
types of meetings:
·
The 15 mn call. This is the perfect option to introduce yourself for the first time,
to give some context for a future meeting, or to discuss one minor
issue.
·
The 30 mn or 60 mn in-person meetings.
The difference lies
in the susbtance of the item(s) to be discussed. If things and decisions can be
wrapped up in 30 mn, why should you request — and block— a 1hour slot in the
other person’s agenda? If you request a “30 mn meeting”, you show that you
presumably know how the system works. You earn
free points.
In a 15-mn call.
After 15 mn. Hang-up the phone. In a 1h-meeting. After 1h. You leave. This is
what I do best.
Rule #7: Accent
Is OK
Lots of successful
entrepreneurs in the Valley have accent. 52% of U.S. unicorns were
co-founded by immigrants (1st or 2nd generation). Immigration is one
of the key-engines of the region’s prosperity.
So being a foreigner
is not a problem at all. That said, you must be to get your point across.
Obviously. Accent is OK. Not speaking English is not OK.
To thrive, you must be able to express yourself properly, with nuance and
accuracy. Improving your English must be a priority from Day 1. Otherwise
you will face discrimination at some point of your journey.
Pretty quickly actually.
Oops, there is one
other thing.
The meaning of some
(of their) English words may be a little different from what
you have learned at school. Let’s take some examples:
“What you do is
awesome!”.
Translation: “you are OK”.
Translation: “you are OK”.
“Your product is
OK”.
Translation: “It sucks, I won’t buy it for sure”.
Translation: “It sucks, I won’t buy it for sure”.
“Thanks, we had a
great meeting”.
Translation: “Thanks for visiting”.
Translation: “Thanks for visiting”.
“Thanks for the
meeting. Let’s schedule a second one with some other folks”.
Translation: “This was really interesting. We want to know more about you”.
Translation: “This was really interesting. We want to know more about you”.
A follow-up
meeting : this is the feedback you need to get. Forget the rest.
Rule #8: Data
Or Die
It is fair to assume
that “everything is awesome” in the Valley. Your product is “the best in the
world”. Your technology is “unique”. Your team is “world-class”. Your revenue
is “growing super fast” and your market is “f*ing huge”. Yes, you “will change
the world”. In short, you are “killing it”. But I would recommend deleting
these words from a) your vocabulary, b) your deck, c) your pitch.
People are
data-driven. There is nothing better, clearer, more objective and
comparable than data. VCs, mentors, talents, customers will immediately see
through your data that you are REALLY unique and best-in-show.
Different businesses
and maturity stages have different data types: TAM | SAM | SOM, MoM | YoY
growth, MRR | ARR, ACV, Rev churn | Cust churn, Cohort Analysis, LTV, CAC, DAU
| WAU | MAU, GMV, Retention Rate, Burn Rate, and so on. Let your data
speak for you. Forget superlatives. Do not look like this:
Rule #9:
Storytelling
This is one of the
hardest things. It is largely linked to the type of education received, I
guess. It is a priceless skill. Telling a story is key in the Valley (and
everywhere else by the way). It’s the most effective way to engage with people
and raise awareness.
It is the best way
to sell.
That’s the whole
point. You have to be in a sales-mode. All. The. Time. Night
and day. You want to hire a talent? You must sell your vision. You are talking
to a customer? You must sell your product, obviously. You are pitching a VC?
You are literally selling a portion of your company. You are meeting with a
journalist? She needs to sell you to her readers.
https://medium.com/@romainserman/silicon-valley-etiquette-6934cf6f8f73
More
https://stanfordguide.org/silicon-valley-meeting-etiquette-c86ae87401b1
https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/learn-these-5-silicon-valley-etiquette-rules-or-risk-coming-across-as-clueless.html
More
https://stanfordguide.org/silicon-valley-meeting-etiquette-c86ae87401b1
https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/learn-these-5-silicon-valley-etiquette-rules-or-risk-coming-across-as-clueless.html
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